Its a new year for new things!

I am almost 3 months behind on this blog.

My initial goal was to start a blog on January 1^st of this year about getting out of the business – the dancing industry, that is. I had decided that I was fed up with the way the game has changed since I started. The girls are getting dirtier by the day; the caliber of these ladies and the clubs themselves are shameful; the patrons are starting to expect certain things (as if it were a part of my job description); and all the while, we are simply making less money. Especially if you’re an honest and clean stripper.

By now, I have been dancing for over three years. To be frank, by the time I started I had already missed the business at its best. I entered it during what you would call its downfall. And oh how I regret that! I wish I were dancing when dances were half the price they are now, because regardless, girls were making twice the money with half the work! There was also a lot more emphasis on the performer and performance aspect of the business. Stage shows were strong and seductive, each unique and truly entertaining. Girls loved performing!

Anyways, I decided this year that I was done. But rather than quit cold turkey (I could never do that with cigarettes), I would slowly make that transition. This blog is about my internal and external struggle I am sure I will face as I ease myself back into the real world. As I go along, I will introduce more and more about my experiences and myself.

At this point, I am still dancing occasionally. I am online everyday trying to find myself a regular job that doesn’t pay minimum wage. Once I do, I probably will keep dancing for a while, until I save up enough to finish school, or fall into a great career somehow. Or maybe I’ll get discovered – or even meet a rich handsome doctor! (I hope everyone realizes that last sentence was a joke, meant to poke humor at the stereotypical ideology of a stripper.) I have had 3 interviews set up this past week, one of which I actually showed up for.

Maybe I should mention this too: I am currently kinda in a kinda relationship. Yeah, I’m in one of those. I recognize that he hinders my progress, as I do his, and that he’s an unfaithful pathological liar. That’s exactly why I haven’t started this blog 3 months ago. I’ve been so distracted with him and us that I haven’t been able to write, focus on finding a job, or even going to the club to work. I don’t want to blame it all on him; I will admit that these are my decisions. But I have such a weakness for him. Thus, this blog is about more than my transition – it is about a time in my life that I would like to document for myself. It’s about growing up into adulthood, becoming a productive member of society, getting over someone and using that as motivation to move forward, and the struggles we dancers face when we do reenter the real workforce.

I hope everyone reading enjoys this. I realize I may offend some people and that I will probably receive some not so nice emails, judgments and criticism. This blog is not meant to cause offence in any way. I simply recognize that there are a lot of women in my position and would like to share my experiences. I promise to be brutally honest, no matter how it makes me look. I guess blog is also a venue for me to be real and vent.